A grateful wife has second thoughts
vaguely
1  I know a woman who is a grateful wife . she has been one for years . In fact ,her gratitude has been as deep and constant as her affection . And together they have traveled a long . complicated road.
2  In the beginning .this young wife was grateful to find herself married to a man who let her work . That was in 1964 , when even her college professor said without a hint of irony that the young wife was “lucky to be married to a man who let her work .” people talked like that then .
3  Later ,the wife looked around her at the men her classmates and friends had married and was grateful that her husband wasn’t threatened ,hurt ,neglected ,insulted –the multiple choice of the mid -60s-by her job .
4  He was proud , and her cup overran with gratitude .T hat was the way it was .
5  In the late’60s when other younger women were having consciousness-raising groups , s
he was having babies and more gratitude .
6  You see , she discovered that she had a helpful; husband .nothing in her experience had led her to expect this .Her mother was not married to one ; her sister was not married to one ;her brother was not one .
7  But at 4 o’clock in the morning ,when the baby cried and she was exhausted ,sometimes she would nudge her husband awake (wondering only vaguely how how he could sleep) and ask him to feed the boy . He would say sure . And she would say thank you .
8  The Grateful Wife and the Helpful Husband danced this same pas de deux for a decade .When the children were small and she was sick , he would take charge .when it was their turn to car-pool and she had to be at work early ,he would drive . if she was coming home late ,he would make dinner .
9  All you have to do is ask , he would say with a smile .
10 And so she asked . the woman who had minded her P’s and Q’s as a child minded her pleases and thank-yous as a wife . would you please put the baby on the potty ? would you stop at the store tonight for milk ? would you please pick up joel at soccer practice? Thank you .Thank you .Thank you.
11 It is hard to know when gratitude first began to grate one on my friend . Or when she began saying please and thank you dutifully rather than genuinely .
12  But it probably began when she was tired one day or night . In any case ,during the cartime between one job and job and other ,when she would run lists through her head ,she began feeling less thankful for her moonlighting job as household manger .
13  She began to realize that all the items of their shared life were stored in her exclusive computer .she began to realize that her queue was so full of minutia that she had room for anything else .
14  The grateful wife began to wonder why she should say thank you when a father took
a care of his children and why she should say please when a husband tool care of his house .
15  She began to realize that being grateful meat being responsible . being grateful meant assuming that  you were in charge of children and laundry and running out of toilet paper . being grateful meant having to ask . And ask . And ask.
16   Her husband was not an oppressive or even thoughts man . He helpful . but helpful doesn’t have to remember vacuum-cleaner bags . and helpful doesn’t keep track of early dismissal days .
17  Helpful doesn’t keep a Christmas-present list in his mind .Helpful doesn’t have to know who wears what size and colors . helpful is reminded ;helpful is asked . anything you ask . please and thank you
18   The wife feels , she says , vaguely frightened to find herself angry at saying please and thank you . she wonders if she is , indeed , an ingrate , but her wondering doesn’t change how she feels or what she wants .
19   The wife would like to take just half the details that clog her mind like grit in a pore and hand them over to another manager . the wife would like someone who would be grateful when she volunteered to take his turn at the market , or his week at the laundry .
20  The truth is that after all those years when she dance her part perfectly , she wants  something else . she doesn’t want a helpful husband . she wants one who will share . for that , she would be truly grateful .
                                                744 words
                                                        Rotes

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