英语流利说Level 6 Unit 2 Reading
Love lab
How we communicate with our romantic partners can have a strong impact on the quality of our relationships. Psychologists John and Julie Gottman run the Love Lab, where thousands of couples have been studied over the last 30 years. The purpose of their research is to determine the factors that lead to happy and unhappy relationships. From their data, they have concluded that contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling are the most significant factors that can hurt a marriage or relationship.
Among these, contempt is the biggest predictor of divorce. People who feel contempt for their partner often convey disapproval without addressing the issue. They sometimes label their partner with insulting words such as “lazy””stupid”or”emotional”, which is particularly damaging.
Many couples try to address issues by criticizing their partner’s flaws or mistakes directly. Bei
ng too direct with criticism can hurt your partner’s self-esteem. Some people may react to criticism by becoming defensive and focused on winning the argument, rather than on improving themselves. Others may react to criticism by stonewalling, where they refuse to acknowledge and respond to their partner for a period of time. Unfortunately, fighting back or ignoring your partner can make it difficult to determine the root of your problems. If your partner feels that they aren’t valued, it may lead to increased dissatisfaction with the relationship.
The Gottmans maintain that being aware of these factors in communication is the first step to improving a relationship. It is important to acknowledge that all relationships have issues. The goal shouldn’t be to avoid these issues, but to learn to resolve them. In particular, we should avoid communicating in ways that hurt our partner’s self-esteem. It is better to discuss problems in a way that is less confrontational and can better help your partner sympathize with your perspective. For example, rather than saying”Why are you ignoring me? It’s rude!” One could say “I feel hurt and undervalued when I don’t get a response from you.” By being conscious of how we communicate with our partner, we can
begin to build a healthier relationship.
Question
1. The tone of this passage is -- logical and insightful.
2. What is the purpose of the Gottman’s research?
- To identify characteristics of successful or unsuccessful relationships.
3. Someone who is defensive in an argument will probably
--- not admit fault.
To confront something means--- to face it.
4. What is the biggest predictor of divorce?
---Among these, contempt is the biggest predictor of divorce.
5. What might make it difficult to find out the cause of your  relationship problems? -- Unfortunately, fighting back or ignoring your partner can make it difficult to determine the root of your problems.
6. Being too direct with criticism can hurt your partner’s self-esteem. Some people may react to criticism by becoming defensive and focused on winningreact to后面接什么 the argument, rather than on improving themselves.
7.Others may respond to criticism by stonewalling, where they refuse to acknowledge and respond to their partner for a period of time. Unfortunately, fighting back or ignoring your partner can make it difficult to determine the root of your problems. If your partner feels that they aren’t valued, it may lead to increased marital dissatisfaction with the relationship.
8. Some people may react to criticism by becoming defensive and focused on winning the argument, rather than on improving themselves.
Others may react to criticism by stonewalling, where they refuse to acknowledge and respond to their partner for a period of time.
Unfortunately, fighting back or ignoring your partner can make it difficult to determine the root of your problems.
If your partner feels that they aren’t valued, it may lead to increased dissatisfaction with the relationship.
9. Repeat the sentences
I It is important to acknowledge that all relationships have issues.
Among these, contempt is the biggest predictor of divorce.
Stonewalling your partner can make them feel like they aren’t valued.
10. Read the sentences
They used data from observing thousands of couples to determine the factors that lead to unhappy relationships.
How we communicate with our romantic partners can have a strong impact on the quality of our relationships.

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