Text A  My Father's Shadow  父亲的影子
My husband，Gary，and I were flying to Hawaii from New York City to show our five-month-old son，Timmy，to our parents for the first time．我和丈夫加里正由纽约飞往夏威夷，去让我父母见见我们刚出生五个月的儿子--蒂米。But what should have been a mission of joy filled me with apprehension．这本该是件快乐的事情，却令我十分忧惧。For five years I'd hardly spoken to my father．五年了，我几乎没和父亲说过话。Loving but stern in the manner typical of Chinese fathers，he had made particular demands on me，父亲具有典型的中国父亲的风格：慈爱而严厉，对我寄予厚望。and though we were very much alike，we'd grown very far apart．尽管我们的性格极为相似，但父女关系却已变得很疏远。
    When I became a teenager，my father held up my mother as a model of feminine behavior．早在我的少女时代，父亲就让我把母亲作为女性的榜样。But she was social，while I preferred books to parities．母亲擅长社交，可我喜欢读书不愿扎堆。He pressed me to mingle with his friends' children．父亲强迫我与他朋友的孩子做朋友，I insisted on choosing my own companions．我却坚持自己选择伙伴。He assured I'd follow in my mother'
s footsteps and enroll in the local university to study teaching，父亲坚持认为我应该重复母亲的路，读当地大学，学师范专业，and that I'd marry into one of the other long-established Chinese clans on the islands and settle down，as he and my mother had．嫁一位久居当地的华裔望族，像他和母亲一样，定居在夏威夷。
But I didn't settle．但我没有那样做。As bullheaded as my father，I escaped to the University of California，同父亲一样倔强，我"逃"到加利福尼亚大学读书，where I fell in love with a haole，并爱上了一位外族人加里，as we called Caucasians from the mainland．就是我们通常所说的来自美国大陆的白种人。Gary had blue haole eyes and sandy haole hair．他有着白种人的典型特征--蓝眼睛、沙头发。I announced that we were getting married--in Berkeley，not Hawaii．我宣布我们要在伯克利结婚，而不是夏威夷，No large，clamorous clan wedding for me．也没有盛大、热闹的家庭式婚礼。My parents came and met Gary just two days before our small，simple wedding．就在距我们不具规模、形式简单的婚礼只有两天的时候，我父母才来跟加里见了第一次面。Afterward we moved to New York，婚后，我们搬到了纽约，as far from the islands as we could get without leaving American soil．尽可能远地离开了夏威夷，但又不用离开美国本土。
My father's subsequent silence showed his disapproval．父亲随后的沉默反映出对我的不满。He didn't visit；neither did I．他没来看过我们，我也没回去过。When my mother telephoned，he never asked to speak to me，and I never asked for him．母亲来电话时，他从不要求跟我讲话，我也从不要求跟他讲话。We might have gone on like that. the habit of separation hardening into a permanent estrangement．我们可能会就这样僵持下去，分离的习惯渐渐硬化为永久的疏远。Then Timmy was born，and I felt an unexpected tidal pull back to the is1ands．后来蒂米出生了，我莫名其妙地产生了想回家看看的强烈愿望。
On the long flight to Hawaii，在回夏威夷的漫长旅途中，memories of my childhood. when I was my father's small shadow．came flooding back．I was three years old，running behind him as he walked between the banana trees in the plantation town where he taught high schoo1．孩提时的记忆潮水般涌上我的心头。那时我才三岁，还是父亲的"小东西"。父亲在镇上一所中学教书。每当他穿行于种植园的香蕉树中间时，我则在他身后奔跑。When grew tired，he carried me on his shoulders．跑累了，父亲就让我坐到他的肩膀上，From there I could see forever．坐在他肩上我能看得很远很远。"You are my sunshine my only sunshine。"he would sing．"You make me happy when skies are gray．"这时他就会唱"你
是我的阳光，我惟一的阳光，天空阴霾密布，你依然令我幸福……"I laughed，taking his devotion as my due．我大笑着，理所当然地享受着这份父爱。
    Now the prodigal daughter was returning with the firstborn of the next of generation-a hazel-eyed，golden-skinned hapa haole(half-white)child who looked little like his Chinese ancestors．现在"浪子"要回家了，怀中抱着他们的长孙- 一个长着淡褐眼睛，拥有一半白人血统的黄皮肤婴儿，这与他的中国祖先几乎毫不相似。How would my father react? 父亲会有什么反应?If he disapproved of Timmy，as he had of me．如果他不喜欢蒂米，就像不喜欢现在的我一样，the separation between us would be complete．我们之间的关系就会彻底破裂，I would never return．我将永远不再回来。
The plane landed．飞机着陆了。and I gradually placed a crying，hungry Timmy into my mother's eager arms．我慢慢地把正饿得哇哇大哭蒂米放入母亲热切的怀中。Here was instant and unconditional acceptance of a child by his grandmother．这是外祖母对外孙的毫不犹豫、无条件的接受。My father's expression was passive and hard to read．父亲显得有点被动，其表情让人难以读懂。He greeted us politely："Good trip?"他客气地同我们打招
呼："路上顺利吧?" Then he peered cautiously at Timmy，who promptly began to cry．然后凝视着蒂米，蒂米马上大哭起来。My father stepped in alarm．父亲惊慌地走开了。Did he find it disturbing that this crying stranger might be his own flesh and blood?他是否在为这个号啕大哭的陌生小家伙竟是他的骨肉后代而感到不安呢?
react to翻译    After dinner at my parent's house，Gary and I retired to my old bedroom．晚饭后，我和加里回到我以前的房间。My mother tucked Timmy into a borrowed crib in a room down the hall．母亲把蒂米安放在楼下的一个房间里，婴儿床是借来的。
    Four hours later mother instinct pulled me from sleep．四小时后，作母亲的本能使我从睡梦中醒来。This was the time Timmy usually woke for a feeding bottle，这通常是蒂米醒来要奶吃的时间，but there were no cries of hunger．可是我没有听到他饥饿的哭喊声。Instead，I heard only the sweet, soft gurgle of baby laughter．相反，却是婴儿甜甜的咯咯笑声。I tiptoed down the hall．我蹑手蹑脚地走到楼下。
In the living room，客厅里，Timmy lay on a pillow on the floor in a circle of light，在一圈灯
光下，蒂米躺在地板上的一个靠垫上。his plump，tiny fists and feet shaking happily．正欢快地摆动着胖嘟嘟的小拳头，踢动着小脚丫，He studied the face bent over him，an Asian face burned dark by the Hawaiian sun，with laugh wrinkles at the corners of the eyes．眼睛盯着那张俯视着他的脸— 一张被夏威夷的阳光灼黑、眼角布满笑纹的亚洲人的脸。My father was giving Timmy a bottle，父亲一边给蒂米喂奶，tickling his tummy and singing softly，一边搔着他的小肚皮，轻轻哼唱着：“You are my sunshine．．．”“ 你是我的阳光……”
    I watched from the darkness，我在暗处静静地看着，not wanting to break the scene and then crept back to my room．不想破坏这动人的场面。我轻手轻脚地回到了自己的房间。It was then that I began to suspect that my father had wanted to mend the breach as much as I had．从那一刻起我开始意识到父亲一直和我一样想弥补我们之间的裂痕．Awkward and proud，只因笨拙和自尊，he hadn't known how，and neither had I．他不知道怎么做，我也不知道怎么做。Timmy became the bridge over which we could reach for each other．蒂米成了我们之间沟通的桥梁。

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