Hi, it's been 20 minutes. Have you decided?
都想二十分钟了  决定好要点什么了吗
Uh, we still need more time,
我们还需要点时间考虑
- can you come back? - Sure.
-你能等会再回来吗  -当然
And I'm back.
我回来了
Come on guys you're not buying a house.
拜托  又不是买房子
Everything sucks.
横竖都是难吃
Pick the thing that sucks the least, and put it in you mouth.
就挑个看似最不难吃的  塞进嘴得了
Max, everyone keeps telling me
麦克斯  大家都说了
they can't decide, it's like a support group for bi-sexuals.
双性恋互助会的常见台词  "他们决定不了"
Something very magical about
神奇的事件即将要发生啦
活着的基督徒被送到天上与基督同在
希望要发生的是"被提"  我想休个假 被提:  基督教末世论中  末日灾难来临时
Please let it be the Rapture. I need a day off.
In two minutes, something very hip is happening.
两分钟后  时尚酷"潮"即将来袭
If you have a camera,
如果你们有相机
make sure the flash is on.
记得要把"闪"光灯打开哟
Why is he speaking like that?
他怎么说话怪里怪气的
Wait a minute.
慢着
No one's ordering.
没人点餐
People keep checking the time on their phones.
大伙一直在注意手机上的时间
Everyone's wearing matching New Balance sneakers.
每个人都穿着一样的新百伦运动鞋
Flash mob!
快闪族:  一互不认识的人 快闪族
透过互联网或者短信  相约在指定地点同时做出特定动作
Lmfao - Party rock anthem
Oh, hell, no!
靠  想都别想
Caroline, Earl, code red!
卡洛琳  厄尔  红警报
I couldn't stop disco,
老子当年阻止不了迪斯科
but I'll be damned if any more of that crap gets by me.
可谁再跳那破玩意  我就开扁
Why is flash mob over?
快闪怎么这么快就完了
Flash mobs were over a year ago.
快闪早在一年前就玩完了
Nobody told Han!
阿憨不知道嘛
I want so bad to be hip.
人家超想成为时尚潮人
Start by never saying that again.
土包子才会把"潮"字挂嘴边
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打工 妹花 第五集 第一季 第五集 妹花 第一季 打工
\h翻译  一毛不拔YY猫
\h翻译  一毛不拔YY猫
\h校对  一根象拔赛太公
\h校对  一根象拔赛太公
后期  鱼骨头\h
后期  鱼骨头\h
时间轴 总监  一毛不拔YY猫\h 时间轴 总监  一毛不拔YY猫\h
Hello?
您好
- Max, phone! - No!
-麦克斯  有电话  -别接啊
What are you doing?
你搞毛啊
Never answer the wall phone!
永远别接墙上的电话
What? Why?
什么  为什么
Only two people call
只有两种人会打这只电话
collection agencies and the landlord,
讨债公司以及
looking for the original tenant whose name is
on the lease!
打来最初承租人的房东
- Hang up. Quick! - Too late.
-那快挂掉吧  -来不及了
I've got to man up and face it.
我还是鼓起勇气来面对吧
Hello?
你好
This is what collection agency?
你是哪间讨债公司来着
No, my granddaughter Max is not here.
不  我孙女麦克斯不在
She died.
她死了
On her deathbed, she said it was the stress
临终前  她还说她是被债主
of being constantly harassed by creditors.
长期的骚扰给逼死的
That's juvenile.
你太逊了
Give me the phone.
电话给我
Hi. So sorry about that.
你好  刚才真是不好意思
What's the issue exactly?
到底是什么事来着
Well, I'm sure she has
我敢保证她有打算...
Well, you're a doody head.
你脑子里装屎了吧
Never answer the wall.
永远不要接这电话
But what are you gonna do about it?
可欠债问题你打算怎么解决
You can't just keep lying to collection agencies.
总不能一直骗讨债公司吧
You have to pay your bills.
欠债还钱天经地义
I have a system.
我有个还债机制
I pay everyone five dollars
每个债主每周还五块钱
just enough to keep them from freaking out.
省得他们抓狂我麻烦
:  瘾君子每日喝适当剂量便可抑瘾
It's the methadone-clinic banking system.
这叫疗法还债版
That is a complete waste of money.
这完全是在浪费钱
Five dollars won't even cover the interest you're accruing.
五块钱都不够付你的循环利息
What's the interest rate on your credit card?
你信用卡的利率是多少
不知道  但我对这话题的兴趣度是零 interest一字多义  有"利率"和"兴趣"的意思
Don't know, but my interest rate in the conversation is zero.
Max, how could you not know that?
麦克斯  你怎么能不知道呢
That's one of the first things my father taught me about finance.
我爸最早教我有关金融的事就是利率
< at Embezzle U.?
在哪儿教的  诈欺大学吗
Max, I interned at Merrill Lynch.
麦克斯  我在美林证券公司实习过
Let me help you with this. It's the least I can do.
让我帮你吧  这是我唯一能帮你的地方
I had nowhere to go. You took me in.
我无家可归时  是你收留了我
Let me repay my debt to you by helping with your debt
让我帮你想法子还债来报答你吧
to everyone in the world, apparently.
你不是欠着一大屁股债嘛
If you keep talking,
如果你再喋喋不休
我就去自杀图个清静 lynch一字多义  可当人名也有"私刑处死"的意思
I'm going to Merrill lynch myself.
I'm one of those people
我是那种
who gets off on untangling big, complicated messes.
享受解决纠结问题的人
And since you won't let me do your hair,
你不让我动你纠结的头发
let me do your bills.
那让我解决你的债务吧
You want to do my bills?
你要帮我处理债务吗
Here's my po
rtfolio.
这是我的账单锦集
And, uh, if you find chocolate sprinkles in there,
如果看到上面有屎巧克力屑
they're
它们可不是巧克力
Or sprinkles.
也不是普通的屑
Okay.
好吧
I've divided your bills into
我把你的账单分成了三类
"impossible,"
"偿还无能" 
"next to impossible,"
"偿还困难"
and "how the hell did that happen?"
以及"脑子进水了才欠的债"
And I've divided my roommate into
我把我的室友也分成三类
"annoying,"
"讨人厌" 
"super annoying,"
"超级讨人厌"
and "how the hell did that happen?"
以及"脑子进水了才让她搬进来的"
I'm closing kitchen in ten minutes.
我十分钟后就要关厨房了
I cannot stay later.
我不能留太晚
I have date with new woman in my life.
我跟我的新桃花有约
She's very special to me.
她在我心目中很重要
I think she may be the one.
我觉得她是我的真命天女
You are both welcome to come watch us have sex.
欢迎来观看我俩激情床战
Just putting it out there.
我先把"这话儿"说在前头
Just put it back in there.
把你"那话儿"收进里头
I'm so excited, I don't even know where to start.
我好激动  都不知道从何说起了
Drumroll, please.
请击鼓
No? Okay.
不击吗  好吧
Oh, interesting.
有意思
Here we have a bill from the pet castle,
你有张来自宠物城堡的账单
yet you don't have a pet, and you've never been to
可你从没有过宠物  也没去过城堡
Oh, except White Castle.
好吧  白城堡快餐店除外
You used a credit card at White Castle?
你居然在快餐店用信用卡
Yep. That was good weed.
是啊  抽完肚子饿了
And the pet thing was 'cause I found a stray
宠物费用是因为我发现一只流浪动物
and had to have her cleaned up
不把它清理干净
before I could get anyone to take her.
没人会想收养它
That would also explain the charge for neutering.
怪不得还有一笔绝育费用
Nah, actually, that was for me.
其实是我绝育
Can't have any more of these coming out.
以防有小麦克斯出来祸害人间
Do you really think it's fiscally smart to be taking in strays?
你真的认为收留流浪动物是明智之举吗
Good point.
说得对
Move out tonight.
今晚你就搬走吧
What a student loan?
这是什么  学生贷款
Oh, my God. Max, you went to college?
天啊  麦克斯  你还上过大学啊
That wasn't a judgment. It was
不是说你不像读书人  只是震惊
kind of like seeing a baby smoke on the Internet.
像网上抽烟的婴儿影片一样出人意料嘛
I love that kid.
我爱死那小孩了
Max, a student loan is the worst bill you can ignore.
麦克斯  学生贷款是最不能忽视的债务
It can never be expunged.
它会犹如附骨之疽一般
We're breaking out "expunged" on a weeknight?
又不
是特殊节日  用这么高档的字眼干嘛啊
You can't run away from this bill.
这笔债你是躲不掉的
I can run away from anything.
只要我想躲  没有躲不掉
I'm on my fifth identity.
我都用到第五个身份了
It's just like that but underwater!
就像这样  不过是在水下
Guys!
伙计们
Sorry, we're just closing, guys.
抱歉  我们准备打烊了
I'll take them, Max. We
我来招呼他们吧  麦克斯  我们得...
Uh, sit anywhere.
随便坐
What was that Roadrunner move you just pulled?
怎么跟哔哔鸟一样高速开溜啊
There's still a smoke outline of your body
逃跑路线上尘土飞扬
你身影的烟尘都还未散去呢 哔哔鸟和大笨狼是华纳动画片中的角  两者为死对头
hanging in the air out there.
Did Wile E. Coyote just come in the diner?
大笨狼怀尔来餐厅里逮你了吗
No, but my ex-boyfriend did.
不是  是我前男友来了
Meep, meep.
哔  哔[哔哔鸟的叫声]
Why is William in Brooklyn?
为什么威廉会来布鲁克林
Why is William in this diner?
为什么威廉会来这家餐厅
Why is every inbred rich guy named William?
为什么含着金汤匙出生的有钱人都叫威廉
I don't want to see him.
我不想看见他
Max, close the door.
麦克斯  把门关上
I don't want him to come in here.
我不想他进来
Yeah, 'cause that happens all the time.
是啊  这年头的顾客就"爱"这么干
Customers come in the front door
他们喜欢一进店门
and make a beeline through the kitchen
立马径直穿过厨房
to see if there's a waitress hiding in the walk-in freezer.
去看冷藏室里是否有女服务员躲在里面
Okay, what is the deal?
够了  到底怎么回事
Tell me fast.
速度招来
I'm nipping like crazy in here.
里面冷得我都激凸了
Ooh, you're smuggling some gumdrops there, too, ice queen.
哇  你也不声不响玩激凸  冷淡女
His name is William Van Horn, and
他叫威廉·范·洪恩  他是...
I am leaving for sex.
我要出发去做爱了
Last chance for threesome, foursome, possibly fivesome,
这是你们参加今晚3P  4P的最后机会
if her sister's train gets in on time.
她火车准时到还能5P哦
Oleg, please.
奥列格  拜托
I don't have time to be harassed right now.
我现在没时间被你骚扰
Oh, okay.
那好吧
I'll see you and the gumdrops tomorrow.
明天"凸"点见啦
Story. Go.
故事  快说
We met at our parents' companies' parent company picnic.
我们相识于父母公司的聚餐上
- His family is the Boston - Story. Stop.
-他家是波士顿范·洪恩家族  -故事  打住
Cut to the end. Do we hate him?
快进到结尾  我们该不该恨他
He dumped me when I lost all
我一破产他就甩了我
never called me, not an email, nothing.
电话  邮件都没有  完全切断联系
Oh, we hate him.
好  我们恨他
Wait. Which one's
等
等  哪个是你的前任
the Asian one, the black one?
亚洲小子  还是黑人
I'm kidding. No, seriously.
开玩笑的啦  不  说真的
The white one or the really, really white one?
是那个白人  还是那个典型死白人
Really, really white.
典型死白人
Service, service, service,
服务  服务  服务
service, service,
服务  服务  服务
You heard your bro. Service him.
你也听见你兄弟说啥了  "服侍"他呀
Oh, crushed!
哇  攻势凶猛啊
Hey, you'd better be careful,
你讲话最好小心点
'cause I can give you a run for your money.
我可以害你事倍钱半哦
I don't have any money.
我都没钱  怎么对半
Well, with a body like that, you don't need any.
有这么好的身材  你不需要挣钱
Oh! Ba-bam!
妙啊
Did you actually think that was a good line,
你真觉得那样很有梗吗
or is that what you do
还是你就是那种
so the check gets paid by Richie Rich?
跟着富二代蹭吃喝的马屁米虫
Hold on. Who said I was rich?
打住  谁说我有钱了
- Let me see your Hands. -
-让我看看你的手  -干嘛
Looking to see if I have poor-people calluses?
看看我有没有穷人的老茧吗
不  我只是想看看你鸡鸡有多大 有种说法是食指顶端到大拇指末端的距离  就是男人勃起的长度
No, I wanted to see how big your penis is.
With hands that size, you better be rich.
只有这种大小  没点钱还怎么混呀
Oh! Shazam!
直击要害
Not cool, bro.
装毛有梗啊  兄弟
- What's your name? - Michelle Obama.
-你叫什么  -米歇尔·奥巴马
We're closed.
我们打烊了
I'm William. Give me your number.
我叫威廉  给我你的电话吧
Why? So you can put it in your phone
为什么  好让你存进手机里
and never call or text or email?
直到地老天荒也不联系吗
Seriously.
我是认真的
You wouldn't know what to do with a good girl if you had one.
给了你  你也不懂得珍惜好女孩
But you're not a good girl. That's why I want your number.
你又不是  所以我才要你的电话啊
So how about it?
到底给不给号码啊
We're closed.
我们打烊了
Your sign says "open till 2:00."
你们牌子上写"两点关门"
My, my.
哎呀  哎呀
How time does fly.
欢乐的时光总是过得特别快
2:00, nighty night.
两点了  先生们  又到了时候说拜拜
What did I ever do to you?
我哪里招你惹你了
You didn't mention me, did you?
你没提到我  对吧
Ugh, no. I just
当然没有  我刚让他
just get to the end. Do you hate him?
快进到结尾  你恨他吗
I hate him.
我恨他
That was the weirdest thing, seeing him come in here.
看见他走进这里  感觉真的好怪
No, the weirdest thing is coming in here right now.
不  最怪的人现在正走过来呢
Why no?
哪里不好啦
UO店里的女孩说这样很潮呢 Urban Outfitters:  美国年轻服饰品牌
Girl at Ur
ban Outfitters said it was hip.
You look like a lesbian I made out with once on a dare.
我打赌输了被逼去亲热的拉拉就这打扮
Han, you're adorable exactly as you are.
憨  你自己的样子就很可爱了
Why are you trying to be hip?
为什么你老想变潮人呢
To meet girls.
想认识女生呀
It's not that bad in here.
这里也没这么糟嘛
I thought my first trip to a laundromat
我还以为我人生第一次去自助洗衣店
would be a lot more depressing.
会更苦闷凄惨呢
Six years we spent together,
共度了六年的时光了
and now he won't even look at me.
他却懒得看我一眼
Oh, not the bag.
别再拿账单袋了
I just looked at now yours?
才看完他的裤裆袋  现在你又掏出你的
Max, it's driving me crazy.
麦克斯  这真让我抓狂
What did you major in in college?
你在大学主修什么
I majored in changing topics.
主修转移话题
So what did you ever see in your ex,
你到底看上你前任哪点
那个失散的山寨温克吾斯兄弟 温克吾斯兄弟:  控告脸书创办人剽窃脸书原始创意的兄弟档
the lost Winklevoss twin?
We're not talking about William.
现在不谈威廉
picnic是什么意思
We're talking about your bills.
只谈你的账单
我也只谈你的比尔 Bill 一字多义  可作为William的昵称 也有账单的意思
Well, I'm talking about your Bill!
Oh, face!
吃瘪吧
麦克斯  我们将一起开创蛋糕事业
And I can't believe I'm about to say this
真没想到我得跟你说这件事
but with my father's financial baggage,
由于我爸在金融上有不良记录
you're our best chance for credit.
你是我们申请贷款的最佳人选
Listen, everybody's broke in their 20s.
听着  谁二十多岁的时候不是穷的
And everybody hides from stuff.
人人都有要逃避的事情
You run into freezers.
你选择躲进冷藏室
I practice ignorance and blackout drinking.
我选择视而不见和用酒精麻痹
What's happening right now?
这是怎么回事
Hola, dudarinos.
你好  们儿
The laundromat's closing early.
自助洗衣店要提前打烊了
We've rented it out for our '80s pop-up disco party.
被我们租来办八零年代人人弹起迪斯科派对
Bobby.
波比
Shouldn't it be called an "'80s pop-up lame hipster
应该改名为"八零年代嬉皮人人该死
will do anything to be ironic and lame" party?
又爱自取其辱的蹩脚派对"
"Lame"?
"蹩脚"
Don't think so.
话别说得太早
What?
什么
Vicki from Small wonder is coming?
《电脑娃娃》的机器人女孩维姬会来
Embarrassed to be you right now.
风大闪了舌头  糗大了吧
Unless you chicks have 75 disco-lovin' bucks,
请交七十五块的我爱迪斯科入场费
be gone in ten minutes,
不然十分钟内请走人
or my man here will throw you out.
不然我男人会把你俩扔出去
Don't let his tube top fool you.
别

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