帮我⾛出⼈⽣低⾕：helpmegothroughthetoughtime 最近由于各种事情，变得越来越负能量爆棚，对⾃⼰感到怀疑和崩溃
今天在B站看到⼀段视频，句句说到⼼理，向⼀束光照到了⼼⾥，温暖和希望。现摘录出来，时时提醒⾃⼰，顺便学习英⽂。
Have you ever felt like waking up was the hardest thing to do?
Have you ever felt so betrayed,and frustrated,and so scared about  where your life holds?
debilitating fear,
I think everyone , at some point in their life has experienced that debilitating
And most  importantly, doubt in themselves
Whether it's because you recently graduated,and are currently unemployed still,
Or that you've recently broken up with someone you were in a long relationship with,
Or that you are in your 40s,or 50s,and you still don't know what to do with your life
Please watch this entire vedio because I assure you,
these ideas,which are not mine by the way,
I'm not capable enough to come up with these ideas,these are genius ideas.
But ,if you can find out one little thing to do that will change your life for the better
I gurantee it ,you won't regret it
No.1.Start with acknowledgement
Just the fact that you have the desire to be better is enough.I mean,in the beginning it is
numb
Most people , I would say 99.9% of people,are already numb
They are not even willing to acknowlege that they need help
In fact,they probably use different measures. Alcohol ,sometimes narcotics if you live in places like America
Or even if you have an addiction of some sort,
As long as you have this deep underlying desire to get better
That is a strong enough indication
indication that you probably will get better.
you need to  acknowledge yourself for that
you need to encourage yourself for that
Don't ever talk yourself out of getting help
Don't ever try to convince yourself that you don't deserve happiness
Because in fact you do
Everyone deserves  to live the best life
Everyone deserves to feel like they are capable of whatever they want to achieve
Your situation is better than you think
I'm not saying that it's not hard
I'm saying that it's better than you think
spotlight effect where it magnifies(放⼤)
magnifies(放⼤) every problem possible
Because your brain has this spotlight effect
And ignores the good things in your life
No.2 get to know yourself and keep track of your thoughts Before we get better ,we have to know where we're at
and sometimes people don't know themselves
And the best way to do it,by far,is to keep a dairy
This is what I had when I was going through a break up
In fact, it was the only thing I have
Because I didn't  know how to open up to people
I had myself as my guidance
Write every single day, doesn't matter how much you write
The point is you start doing something to help yourself
You start noticing and identifying what  it is you are thinking
In writing a dairy, you'll start notcing different patterns in your thoughts
you'll start to catch yourself when you start thinking negative thoughts
when you're writing your dairy ,don't try to be fancy, be completely and brutally honest with yourself petty(⼩⽓),if you are angry ,if you are envious
If you are petty
if you are jealous of that person
Just completely be honest on your paper
No one else will see it, you can be sure of that
If you don't feel confident about that, buy a safe.
keep your journal, keep your dairy inside the safe so that nobody can read it.
should I say,negative thought pattern
Once you are able to identify your, should I say
It is then ok to ask for help
intimidated（胆怯）, go to a bookstore
therapist(理疗师), or if you feel intimidated（胆怯）
Either go to a therapist(理疗师)
Look for books, look fo a friend that has more experience than you do
Be ok with where you are at right now.
And at least have the desire to ask for help
NO.3  define success for yourself
I actually hate the word "success" itself, I would prefer the word value
dichotomy(⼆分法) between success failure
Because success indicate a dichotomy(⼆分法)
you're either success or you are a failure
when , too often, you are in the middle
And success for everyone is different
For some, it means getting a job in a big corporation
For others,like myself, it means financial freedom, being able to work anytime anywhere.
Or you know , you want to be a teacher, you don't want to make that much money.
Or sometimes success just means being strong, you know, being Ok after a break up. Or major heartbreak or a major setback（挫折） in your life.
setback（挫折）
Or sometimes success is just a simple act of kindness. That to me, is success.
So in order to feel ok, in order to feel like you are progressing your life
you have to know where your destination is. Because that destination is different for everyone
It's perfectly ok to focus on what you are good at ,and ignore what you are not good at.
It's completely pointless and a waste of time to compare yourself with other people.
because you don't have the same goals. and you shouldn't try to copy others either.
Your biggest competition, believe or not ,is you
cliche(陈词滥调), but it is true.
I know it sounds like cliche(陈词滥调)
stand in your way. Because,sometimes your laziness, your procrastination(拖延),
procrastination(拖延), you know , all the bad habits, stand in your way. More so than your competitors or so your think.
I also don't like the word "goals". because goals focus too much on the destination too.
too many times we say:oh I want to lise weight. I want to be able to speak English in a month.That's  so much focus on the goal, on the destination,on the result.
and not so much on the system, on the routine,  on your day-to-day practice.
when we don't see progress on day one. It's very easy to get sidetracked（转移⽬标）
sidetracked（转移⽬标）, or frustrated.
so instead of focusing on the grandiose idea, this grandiose definition of success in the future.
try to focus on success tody.
No.4 start choosing
Believe or not ,too many options is not a good thing.
Because more often or not, it leads to inaction
Whoever said that the best thing to do is the right thing;
the next best thing to do is the wrong thing;
ignore the waste behind youand the worst thing to do is not doing anything.
I think that says enough
It's actually better to do the wrong thing.
or at  least do something than to do nothing at all.
You don't want to analyze and think too much because that's what you did before
You spend too much time thinking and so little time actually doing something.
Something happens when you start acting.
Little increments of progress start to show up. little opportunities start to come up because ,you know,opportunities often come in the disguise of work.
so when the intuition is there, when the impulse is there,
when sometimes you've been called to do something for free
take that opportunity, because doing something is better than doing nothing.
No.5 start with the little things.
Whoever said that if you want to change the world,start by making your bed.
This one is both literally correct and metaphorically correct.
It's literally correct because , too often ,we can't even get up on time, let alone
let alone make our beds.
so if you are in that mess mood, it's very less likely for you to get any major things done in your day.
and that , sets the tone for the whole day. whatever we do in life, whatever goals we want to set.
Don't try to get yourself hyped up for these big grandiose things. like "I got run 5k today". Start with walking ,start with getting outside.
start with waking up earlier.. If you wanne be a vlogger, start by recording yourself, that's what I did .I was so afraid to put myself out there.
For three years, I only recorded myself  talk, I never released any videos.
And what's great about taking little actions and building little habits is that they often turn into big impact
compound effect" ?
Have you ever heard of phrase "compound effect
Most of time your life is not defined by that big moment.
over time, while compounded
It's an accumulation
accumulation of the small decisions you take over time,
so if you decide to work out the first thing in the morning, you will feel so good and so pround of yourself
Like you can do anything throughout the day. so that already puts you  in a good mood and therefore puts you in a better position to succeed in your day
Compared to , if you were to wake up late, ashamed of yourself , you'd feel like you already lost the whole day.
No.6 embrace risks and failure.
Sometimes the safest thing to do is the risky thing to do.Because no one else will do it.
You know ,go the extra mile, it's not so crowded. Have you ever see an airport or a train station where everyone is trying to get on the escalater
while over here ,the stairs, nobody is on there. that's what you want to do.
It might seem harder? but you'll have a better time doing it.
proactively(主动). in fact ,before you try to get anything done ,get used to the habit I also like to invite you to get rejected proactively(主动).
of being rejected.
get over the fear of rejection , nothing will faze
faze you. Everything becomes possible
Because once you get over
crave(渴望) for. whether it's a girl you want to ask out, or a job Whoever said that, on the opposite of fear is everything you crave(渴望)
opportunity.
just ask ,you never know what will happen. and rejection won't kill you.
The thing is ,when we get rejected, we have this physiological reaction like Everything is coming to a
n end..
You literally feel like something is trying to kill you. you feel the pain physically ,but it is important for you to control your thoughts.
To know that this will pass.
blow it up.don't magnify
magnify(放⼤) it.
This rejection is not physical pain, don't blow it up
NO.7 be grateful
when the going gets tough, it's very hard to be looking for things to be grateful for
when you are grateful, when you are in a good mood , you are more likely to do something that's hard
you are more likely to do something out of character
And if you talk about it from a practical standpoint. somebody else always has it worse than you. somebody else always don't

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