My Big Fat Greek Wedding
(Comedy) (2002)
© 2003 by Raymond Weschler
Major Characters
Toula Portokalos…………………………………….Nia Vardalos
A 30 year old woman who lives with her crazy parents in Chicago and
works in the family’s Greek restaurant. She is sad, single and going
nowhere in life until she goes back to school, gets another job, and most
importantly, meets Ian.
Ian Miller………………………………………………John Corbett
A young Chicago high school teacher who is smart, fun and looking for
love, and who is perfect for Toula, except for one thing---He’s not Greek. Gus……………………………………………………..Michael Constantine
Toula’s Greek-American father who is convinced that almost all  human
accomplishments come from Greek culture, and thus Toula must marry
a nice Greek boy. Maria……………………………………………………Lainie Kazan
Toula’s mom, who spends much of her time helping take care
of the family restaurant and feeding her huge family. Nick……………………………………………………..Louis Mandylor
Toula’s younger brother, who loves to play practical jokes.
Aunt Voula…………………………………………….Andrea Martin
Toula’s closest aunt, who offers her a job in her travel agency.
Plot Summary
This film is a sweet look at the American immigrant family, and specifically, the tension that has existed between many immigrant parents who want their children to marry a person from their own ethnic background, and those children who find partners from elsewhere in the great American “melting pot.”Specifically, it is the story of Toula, a 30 year old woman who lives with her Greek parents in their comfortable Chicago home, but who is sad and lost, in part because she thinks she’s too old and unattractive to ever find a husband. One day she decides she cannot work forever in her parents Greek restaurant, so she returns to school to study computers, gets a job in her Aunt Voula’s travel agency, learns to effectively use makeup, and then meets Ian, a warm and charming vegetarian high school teacher. Soon after, Ian and Toula fall in love and decide to get married.
Gus has a hard time accepting that his oldest daughter is going to marry a long-haired American with no Greek background, but after Ian agrees to become an official member of the Greek Orthodox Church, Gus has no choice but to accept him  into his family. Soon, all of Toula’s relatives, including her parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and 27 cousins, are preparing for a traditional Greek wedding, with Ian and his very conservative parents soon caught up in all the love and insanity that such an event produces.
A note on the language used in this film: Toula’s parents and aunt are first generation Americans, and
as such, they often speak English with charming but incorrect grammar. Some of these mistakes are pointed out in the glossary, but regardless, you should be aware that a lot of what is said is not standard English. There are also quite a few times when Greek words are used, but they are only noted in the glossary when they are considered important to the film or of more general interest to ESL learners.
The use of asterisks (*): If a line from the film has an  asterisk at the end of  it, this means the words were spoken in Greek and subtitled in English.
Some Words and Expressions that You May not Know
Toula tells us of her loud and crazy Greek-American family,
and of  her life going nowhere as a 30 year old single woman.
The other girls were blond and delicate,
and I  was a swarthy six year old with sideburns.
If a girl is “delicate,” she is pleasing to look at. A person who is “swarthy”
has dark colored skin or complexion, like people from the Mediterranean.
“Sideburns” refer to hair that grows down the face, in front of the ears. Eating their wonder bread sandwiches.
“Wonder bread” is a well known type of American white bread.
It’s moussaka. :: Mous-ca-ca!
“Moussaka” is a well known Greek food made of meat and
eggplant. “Caca” is a child’s word for referring to shit or crap.
While the pretty girls got to go to brownies, I had to go to Greek school.
A popular organization for girls who are still too young to be part of
the “Girl Scouts,” which is the largest club of girls in the US.
My mom was always cooking foods filled with warmth and wisdom…
“Wisdom” is an important word meaning the ability to understand and
use knowledge or facts intelligently.
…and never forgetting that side dish of steaming hot guilt.
If a food is “steaming hot,” it’s so hot that steam rises from it.
“Guilt” refers to the act of feeling bad for something you have done
in the past---A key word in the Jewish and Catholic religions, and
apparently, in Greek culture.
Don’t play with your food. When I was your age, we didn’t have  food.
Note that mothers are always telling their young kids to not “play with
their food” at the dinner table, but the second line is clearly not true!
Our house was modeled after the Parthenon, complete
with Corinthian columns and guarded by statues of the Gods.
If a building is “modeled after” another one, it’s made to look similar to it.
The “Parthenon” is a famous structure that was built in Ancient Greece, in Athens. “Corinthian columns” refer to thick white posts that were used to make buildings in Corinthian society, which was part of ancient Greece. In case the neighbors had any doubts about our heritage,
they could just check out our subtle tribute to the Greek flag.
In this case, a person’s “heritage” is their ethnic background, or more
specifically, where their parents or grandparents had come from.
“To check out” something is to explore or look at it. “Subtle” is a key
word that means not obvious or difficult to notice or understand
(Here, though, the word is being used sarcastically).
He believed that any ailment, from psoriasis
to poison ivy, could be cured with Windex.
An “ailment” is a disease or medical problem. “Psoriasis” is a skin disease and “poison ivy” is  a very itchy skin condition caused by touching a
poisonous plant. “Windex” is a well known brand of window cleaner. Every morning our father would lecture us on the
history of our people, the great civilizations, the Greeks.
“To lecture” is to give a speech or talk, the way a professor might in a
class. A “civilization” refers to the culture of a particular time and place. Astronomy, philosophy and Democracy! :: Bravo, very good.
An Italian word used in English to express great pleasure after a musical
or acting performance. People often scream “bravo!” while applauding. How about “arachnophobia?”
A word, with Greek roots, that means fear of spiders.
How about ‘kimono?”
A Japanese word for a robe (And a word with no Greek roots at all!).
My dad brought his mother over from Greece
to live with us because we weren’t weird enough.
An excellent word meaning very strange, odd or bizarre.
“Listen up, ugly Turk. You’re not kidnapping me!”*
It’s worth noting that historically, Turkey and Greece have fought
many wars and there is often tension between the two cultures.
Niko, be careful. She has a very mean punch.
If a person has a “mean punch,” they are
strong and can hit with great force.
Here I am…thirty and way past my expiration date.
An “expiration date” is the date that a product is considered no longer
good or useable. It usually refers to milk or food, and not people! What’s up?
A common and colloquial way of greeting a person if you have
not seen them for a while. An alternative to “what’s new in life?”
She was supposed to come and curl my hairs.
“To curl” hair is to shape it into a curved or circular shape (Note that in
English, hair is almost never used in the plural, though given this common mistake in Toula’s family, it apparently is in Greek).
My brother has two jobs; To cook and to marry a Greek virgin.
An important word for a person who has never had sexual intercourse.
If nagging was an Olympic sport, my aunt Voula would have a gold medal.
“To nag” is an excellent verb meaning to annoy,  bother or harass. A
“gold medal” is the highest award that an athlete can win in the Olympics. Sorry, sorry, don’t “sorry” me!
Note the use of “sorry” as a negative imperative verb to show anger! Look at this rash!
An irritation on the skin, often marked by redness or small bumps.
My sister married young and became a Greek baby-breeding machine.
“To breed” is a scientific word meaning to have children or reproduce. Come on, get out!
The most versatile phrasal verb in English,
in this case meaning “hurry up.”
Pantyhose are on sale for 99 cents.
Nylons or stockings that women wear over their legs.
Then the priest is coming to bless the new house.
A “priest” is a religious official in a Church. When a priest
“blesses” a house, he officially asks God to take good care of it.
Now I have to go open the travel agency because
some jack-off and his big-assed girlfriend are too busy!
As a noun, a “jack-off” is a rare but fun word for a jerk, idiot, etc.,
although as a verb, “to jack-off” is a common and slangy way of saying to masturbate. If a person is “big-assed,” they, have, of course, a large butt! Do you know who’s at the dry cleaners?
A store where clothes are cleaned in a way that does not use water. Angelo, bite me! :: Disgusting, be a lady!
blond“Bite me” is a silly way of expressing anger or frustration with a person.
“Disgusting” is a powerful adjective meaning very unpleasant, offensive, repulsive or more colloquially, gross.
No more fun and games.
What you would tell a person who you feel has not been
acting seriously enough or working hard enough.
And the pizza for the buffet!
A “buffet” is a meal that is served on an open table,
where people serve themselves to various dishes.
I want to drive. :: You’re driving me crazy!
What you say to a person who is very much annoying or bothering you. You’ll always have Toula to run the restaurant.
“To run” a business is to be in charge of it.
Toula decides to change her life, sees Ian for the first time,
and helps invite her grandma into the family house.
Cool place. :: Yeah, it’s adorable.
A common colloquial adjective meaning good, excellent or agreeable. You missed a hell of a party the other night.
A slangy filler expression which means great or worthwhile.
You set me up with her already.
“To set up” one person with another is to bring them together
in order to see if they would be interested in each other romantically. Have you ever had one of those days?
A question that you would ask if you have just
had a horrible day where everything went wrong.
I love the spice on those potatoes. What is that? :: Like I care.
A cynical and fun way of saying “I don’t care.”

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