钱钟书先⽣的这篇散⽂说的是窗⼦,但是其⽤意绝不仅仅是说说窗⼦⽽已,⽽是要以窗⼦来⽐喻⽣活、⽐喻⼈⽣。从语⾔上看,《窗》延续了⼀贯的钱派⼿法,⽤词平实、普通,没有长句,没有什么复杂结构,⾮常从容地叙述、说理,却⼜紧紧地扣住了主题。这样的特点对翻译构成的难度不⾔⽽喻,翻译中应当时时充分考虑上述特点,尽量在译⽂中体现出来。
⼀逐句分析:
窗
Random Thoughts on the Window
(题⽬中的这个窗字,包含的意思较为丰富,使⼈有多种联想,因此译成Random Thoughts on the Window.)
⼜是春天
It is spring again
中⽂是⽆主句,英⽂没有这样的句⼦结构,因此⽤It is……句型。原⽂⾥“⼜”⽤在句⾸,但是英⽂如果也把again放在句⾸,这个词就太突出,分量太重了。所以again⼀词在译⽂中放在句末和原⽂“⼜”放在句⾸分量相当。
窗⼦可以常开了
and the window can be left open as often as one would like
⽤定冠词the 加单数名词window来代表所有的窗⼦。英语⾥表⽰“全部”可以有⼏种⽅法:1)复数名词,2)不定冠词
a/an+名词,3)定冠词+名词。这⾥就是⽤的第三种,更侧重其⼀致性。“常开”不能译成can open often或can be opened often.因为原⽂是从⼈的⾓度说的,⼈们什么时候想开窗都⾏,所以⽤了one would like这样的说法。
春天从窗外进来
As spring comes in through the windows
这句把春天拟⼈化了,英⽂也⽤同样的结构就⾏。窗外:out of the window.但是,如果把“从窗外进来”理解成⼀个过程,⽤through表⽰就⽐较好。
⼈在屋⼦⾥坐不住,就从门⾥出去
so people——unable to bear staying inside any longer——go outdoors
破折号之间的形容词短语说明⼈们在屋⾥坐不住的原因。bear:忍受,后⾯既可跟-ing动词,也可跟不定式动词。
不过屋⼦外的春天太贱了
The spring outside, however, is much too cheap
这⾥的“贱”,是说春天多阳光,以多为贱,中外同理,⽤cheap也就顺理成章了。
到处是阳光
for the sun shines on everything
这⾥和上⼀句是连接在⼀起的,所以⽤了连接词for来说明原因。不要译成the sunshine is everywhere.因为阳光并不是⼀种存在,⽽是说照耀在所有的⼀切上⾯,因此说shines.
不像射破屋⾥阴深的那样明亮
and so does not seem as bright as that which shoots into the darkness of the house
⽤seem是指屋⾥屋外阳光是⼀样的,只是环境的反差使阳光显得不同罢了。as……as是表⽰屋⾥屋
外阳光的⽐较。that 指the sun.
到处是给太阳晒得懒洋洋的风
Outside the sun-slothed breeze blows everywhere
这⾥加了⼀个词outside,因为后⾯马上要说到的“屋⾥”并不包括在“到处”⼀词⾥:“晒”字英⽂⾥与之相当的词就是shine,但是shine并没有带复合宾语的⽤法,所以换了⼀个⾓度来说这句话。sun-slothed是⼀个复合词。
不像搅动屋⾥沉闷的那样有⽣⽓
but it is not so lively as that which stirs the gloominess inside the house
沉闷这个词在这⾥不是形容词,⽽是名词,所以⽤gloomy加上词尾-ness构成了表⽰状态的名词。
就是鸟语,也似乎琐碎⽽单薄,需要屋⾥的寂静来做衬托
Even the chirping of the birds sounds so thin and broken that the quietness of the house is needed to set it off
说thin and broken⽽不说broken and thin只是因为语⾳的关系,⾳节少的词放在前⾯,多的放在后⾯,结构上显得平稳,不⾄于头重脚轻。只要把这⼏个词连在⼀起朗读⼀下就可体会出来。
我们因此明⽩,春天是该镶嵌在窗⼦⾥看的,好⽐画配了框⼦
It seems that spring was always meant to be put behind a windowpane for show, just like a picture in a frame
“我们因此明⽩”译成It seems……,因为这是⼀种⽐喻的说法,直译成英⽂会给⼈以突兀的感觉,所以⽤“似乎如此”的说法。be meant to be的意思是“原本为……”,加了always等于从语⽓上与原⽂更相符合,并没有特别具体的含义。中⽂说“窗⼦⾥”,⽽英⽂却不能说in a windowpane,windowpane指的是窗⼦上的玻璃,这就是⽤behind的原因。
同时,我们悟到,门和窗有不同的意义
At the same time it also becomes clear that the door has a different significance from the window
悟到和上⼀句中的“明⽩”是相同的意思,it become clear that 这⼀说法⽐it seems that 要肯定⼀些。
random翻译 当然,门是造了让⼈出进的
Of course, doors were made for people to pass through
出进可以译成to come out and go in,但译成to pass through就显得句⼦紧凑、精炼⼀些。
但是,窗⼦有时也可作为进出⼝⽤
but a window can also sometimes serve as an entrance or as an exit
entrance和exit这两个词⽐door和window抽象化了,充分表明了“进出⼝”的字⾯意思和含义。
譬如⼩偷或⼩说⾥私约的情⼈就喜欢爬窗⼦
and is used as such by thieves and by lovers in novels
译⽂⽤了by thieves and by lovers,⽽不说by thieves and lovers,因为这本来就是两类⼈,不能放在⼀起混为⼀谈。
所以窗⼦和门的根本分别,决不仅是有没有⼈进来出去
In fact the fundamental difference between a door and a window has nothing to do with them being either entrances or exits
⽐较⼀下different between和前⽂的different (from):说两者之间的区别,⽤different between A and B;⽽说A怎样不同于B则说A is different from B.
若据赏春⼀事来看,我们不妨这样说
When it comes to the admiration of spring, it could be put this way
When it comes to是⽐较中庸的说法,不那么正式,但也不那么随意,意思是“说起赏春……”,让⼈们对下⽂有⼀个期待。
有了门,我们可以出去
a door makes it possible for one to go out
“有了门”不能译成with a/the door,因为这⾥不是说有还是没有,⽽是有门存在,⼈们就可以进出房屋。
有了窗,我们可以不必出去
whereas a window makes it possible for one not to have to
Whereas⽽……。这是⼀个连接词,表⽰⼀种前后的⽐较或对照。这⾥的句型和上⾯是⼀样的,但是后⾯的not to have to 是不定式的否定形式,后⾯省略了go out.
窗⼦打通了⼤⾃然和⼈的隔膜
A window helps to pull down the partition between man and nature
“由于有了窗⼦,⼈和⼤⾃然之间的隔膜才得以打破”,窗⼦起的是⼀种促进作⽤,其本⾝并不能去“打破”什么,因此⽤了helps to pull down.partition隔离墙。“隔膜”是解剖学词汇,这⾥⽤的是其引申意义,不能按字⾯译成diaphragm,那样意思就不对了。man and nature:man是指整个⼈类,所以不⽤任何冠词;nature则是不可数名词。
把风和太阳逗引进来,使屋⼦⾥也关着⼀部分春天
It leads breezes and sunlight in, and keeps part of the spring in the house
Lead:引导,引领。keep……inthe house:使停留在屋⾥不能外出。
让我们安坐了享受,⽆需再到外⾯去
It allows one to sit and enjoy the spring in peace, and makes it unnecessary to go looking for it outside
原⽂是说“安坐”,⽽实际上“安”的意思也应当能涵盖“享受”,只是从词的节奏上感觉“安坐”和“享受”都是两个字的词,似乎是并列的。译⽂⾥译成了sit……in peace,等于将状语移了⼀个位。注意这句中⼏个it的含义,第⼀个it指代window,第⼆个it 是形式宾语,引出后⾯的to go……,第三个it是指代the spring.
⼆全篇通览:
窗
Random Thoughts on the Window
⼜是春天,窗⼦可以常开了。春天从窗外进来,⼈在屋⼦⾥坐不住,就从门⾥出去。不过屋⼦外的春天太贱了!到处是阳光,不像射破屋⾥阴深的那样明亮;到处是给太阳晒得懒洋洋的风,不像搅动屋⾥沉闷的那样有⽣⽓。就是鸟语,也似乎琐碎⽽单薄,需要屋⾥的寂静来做衬托。我们因此明⽩,春天是该镶嵌在窗⼦⾥看的,好⽐画配了框⼦。
It is spring again and the window can be left open as often as one would like. As spring comes in thr
ough the windows, so people——unable to bear staying inside any longer——go outdoors. The spring outside, however, is much too cheap, for the sun shines on everything, and so does not seem as bright as that which shoots into the darkness of the house. Outside the sun-slothed breeze blows everywhere, but it is not so lively as that which stirs the gloominess inside the house. Even the chirping of the birds sounds so thin and broken that the quietness of the house is needed to set it off. It seems that spring was
always meant to be put behind a windowpane for show, just like a picture in a frame.
同时,我们悟到,门和窗有不同的意义。当然,门是造了让⼈出进的。但是,窗⼦有时也可作为进出⼝⽤,譬如⼩偷或⼩说⾥私约的情⼈就喜欢爬窗⼦。所以窗⼦和门的根本分别,决不仅是有没有⼈进来出去。若据赏春⼀事来看,我们不妨这样说:有了门,我们可以出去;有了窗,我们可以不必出去。窗⼦打通了⼤⾃然和⼈的隔膜,把风和太阳逗引进来,使屋⼦⾥也关着⼀部分春天,让我们安坐了享受,⽆需再到外⾯去。
At the same time it also becomes clear that the door has a different significance from the window. Of course, doors were made for people to pass through; but a window can also sometimes serve as an entrance or as an exit, and is used as such by thieves and by lovers in novels. In fact the fundam
ental difference between a door and a window has nothing to do with them being either entrances or exits. When it comes to the admiration of spring, it could be put this way: a door makes it possible for one to go out, whereas a window makes it possible for one not to have to. A window helps to pull down the partition between man and nature. It leads breezes and sunlight in, and keeps part of the spring in the house. It allows one to sit and enjoy the spring in peace, and makes it unnecessary to go looking for it outside.
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