gossip lose relationship if forward turn out
Let’s be honest: You’ve probably either dished out juicy tidbits of information about others or have been on the receiving end of gossip yourself. Anything from a new haircut to a new love interest may be grounds for gather-around-the-watercooler conversation. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the “did you hear about” details of another person’s life. But if the rumors are about you, that’s another story.
engage inHere’s a closer look at exactly what gossip is, what kind of person tends to engage in the behavior, and how to cope if you’re on the receiving end.
Defining Gossip
Dr. Ned Hallowell, board-certified child/adult psychiatrist, bestselling author, and thought leader who founded the Hallowell Centers, defines gossip as “sharing information—real or imagined—without permission.”
When it comes to the rumor mill, both types of information-sharing have the potential to be
damaging.
First, though, take heart.
Some gossip may be advantageous.
Gossip Can Be Good
“The world is starved for connection, which is precisely what gossip—positive or negative—delivers,” says Dr. Hallowell. Good information can achieve this, but “nastiness connects us too.” He cites hearing of another person’s misfortune as an example of the latter. The problem is when the gossip goes too far. “It can get to the point where perception becomes reality, and this can be destroying.”
Dr. Julia Breur, licensed marriage and family psychotherapist with a private clinical practice in Boca Raton, Florida, adds that gossip can be positive when it involves spreading useful and important information. “If you’ve ever been told, ‘your reputation precedes you,’ it’s because people have heard gossip about you that winds up being ben
eficial.”
Consider the times a supervisor may have told you, “I’ve heard so much about how well you’ve been handling this project,” or when you meet someone who excitedly declares, “It’s so nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so many great things about you!” People have undoubtedly talked about you behind your back. But in these instances, it’s in your favor.
Gossip Can Be Bad
Unfortunately, Dr. Hallowell says that most gossip falls into this category. He says that people tend to spread rumors more so about negative events such as someone who is getting a divorce or who gained 50 pounds than they are inclined to express supportive words about a couple’s marital decision or joy for someone who lost weight.
Immersion in negative gossip makes sense, though. After all, ours is a rumor-filled society. From gossip columnists to magazines and shows dedicated to scandals and hearsay, he says it’s no surprise that gossip—particularly the negative, “juicy” kind—pervades our daily life.
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