Putting in a good word for guilt
There are two attitudes toward the sense of guilt: one is to eliminate it in order to live comfortably, which is usually advocated by most psychologists to maintain so-called mental health; 对于“内疚”感,人们有两种不同的态度。一种就是减少“内疚”感,为的是活得舒服。这是心理学家提倡的做法,用来维持所谓的心理健康。The other is to keep it, so that our behavior can be modified under the influence of conscience. 另一种态度是保持“内疚”感,以便我们的行为在道德良心的驱使下能有所改良。The author analyzes the nature and function of guilt in the deepest level and thinks that this worst emotion actually helps bring out the best in us, while, on the contrary, the lack of guilt is to be questioned. 作者鞭辟入里地分析了“内疚”感的本质及作用,她认为这种让人感到最不舒服的情感实际上能使人向善。而相反,理应受到质疑的应该是这种“内疚”感的缺失。
[1] Feeling guilty is nothing to feel guilty about. 不必因为有“内疚”感而感到“内疚”。Yes, guilt can be the excess baggage that keeps us paralyzed unless we dump it. 是的,“内疚”感会使我们背负过多的包袱。除非我们摔掉包袱,否则我们难以前行。But it can also be the engine t
hat fuels us. 但它也能成为我们动力的来源。 Yes, it can be a self-punishing activity, but it can also be conscience that keeps us civilized. 没错,它会成为一种自我谴责行为,但它也能变成一种道德良心,使我们不再野蛮愚昧。
[2] Not too long ago I wrote a story about that amusing couple Guilt and the Working Mother.就在前不久,我写过一篇故事,讲的是"内疚"和"工作型母亲"这对搭档的事。I'll tell you more about that later. 我下面还会补充一些。Through the mail someone sent me a gift coffee mug carrying the message "I gave up guilt for Lent." 有人寄给我一个礼品咖啡杯,杯上写着:"因为大斋节,我放弃了'内疚'感。"
[3] My first reaction was to giggle. (看到这些字)我的第一反应就是觉得好笑。But then it occurred to me that this particular Lent has been too lengthy. 但随后我又意识到眼下这个斋节持续时间太长了。 For the past decade or more, the pop psychologists who use book jackets rather than couches all were busy telling us that I am okay, you are okay and whatever we do is okay. 在过去十年或更长的时间里,大众心理学工作者都忙着通过书籍的封面套纸广告语,而非心理诊所的谈话,告诉大家说:我好,你好,大家做什么都好。
[4] In most of their books, guilt was given a bad name - or rather, an assortment of bad names. 在心理学工作者所出的大多数书中,内疚感被冠以恶名--甚至就是恶名的总称。 It was a (1) Puritan, (2) Jewish or (3) Catholic hangover from our (1) parents, (2) culture or (3) religion. 它是清教,犹太教或者天主教的遗物,经由我们的父母,文化或宗教传给我们。To be truly liberated was to be free of guilt about being rich, powerful, number one, bad to your mother, thoughtless, late, a smoker, or about cheating on your spouse. 要想真正洒脱,就得消除内疚感,无论是有钱、有势、有名,或是对母亲不敬、不体谅别人,还是迟到、吸烟、有婚外情。
[5] There was a popular notion, in fact, that self-love began by slaying one's guilt. 事实上,以前就有个流行的看法,认为爱自己就得先消除内疚感。People all around us spent a great portion of the last decade trying to tune out guilt instead of decoding its message and learning what it was trying to tell us. 在过去十年的大部分时间中,我们周围的人们一直在遮蔽内疚感,而不是去理解内疚的含义并领悟内疚感正设法提醒我们什么。
[6] With that sort of success, guilt was ripe for revival. 有了那种(消除内疚感的)成功后,内
疚感复活的机会也就成熟了。Somewhere along the I'm-okay-you're-okay way, many of us realized that, in fact, I am not always okay and neither are you. 沿着"我好你好"的路走着,但在某种程度上我们许多人都意识到,事实上,我并非一直都好,你也一样。 Furthermore, we did not want to join the legions who conquered their guilt en route to new depths of narcissistic rottenness. 此外,我们也不想加入到这样一大批人中去:他们通过更深层次的自恋式堕落克服了自己的内疚感。
[7] At the deepest, most devastating level, guilt is the criminal in us that longs to be caught. 从最深远、最彻底的层面上来说,内疚感是我们内心中一个一直期望被抓获的罪犯。It is the horrible, pit-of-the-stomach sense of having done wrong. 这是那种可怕的、堵在胸口、做了错事的感觉。It is, as Lady Macbeth obsessively knew, the spot that no one else and we can't see around. 正如麦克白夫人心头萦绕不去的感受,内疚感就是那个别人看不到的污渍……而且我们还不能引颈四顾。
less is more 翻译 [8] To be without guilt is to be without a conscience. 没有内疚感就等于没有良知。 Guilt-free people don't feel bad when they cause pain to others, and so they go on guilt-freely ca
using more pain. 没有内疚感的人给他人带来痛苦时不会感到难受,因此他们就心安理得地继续给别人添加更多的痛苦。The last thing we need more of is less conscience. 我们最不能多要的东西就是良知的缺失。
[9] Freud once said, "As regards conscience, God has done an uneven and careless piece of work, for a large majority of men have brought along with them only a modest amount of it, or scarcely enough to be worth mentioning." 弗洛伊德曾说过:"就良知的分配而言,上帝做的既不公平也不认真。因为大多数人生来良知就不算多,甚至简直少的不值一提。"
[10] Now, I am not suggesting that we all sign up for a new guilt trip. 此刻,我并不是在建议我们大家都去报名参加新一轮的内疚感知之旅。But there has to be some line between the accusation that we all should feel guilty for, say, poverty or racism and the assertion that the oppressed have "chosen" their lot in life. 然而,下面两种论断还是有些差别的:其中一种认为我们所有人都该为诸如贫困或种族主义感到内疚;另一种则断言受压迫者都是"命中注定"。
[11] There has to be something between Puritanism and hedonism.在清教徒主义和享乐主义这两个极端之间肯定还有一个更好的"主义"。There has to be something between the parents who guilt-trip their children across every stage of life and those who offer no guidance, no-gulp-moral or ethical point of view.同样,有的父母在孩子各个成长阶段都教导他们时刻要感到内疚,而另一个极端是,有的父母压根就不给孩子一丁点道德伦理指导,在这两者之间肯定还有更适当的做法。
[12] At quite regular intervals, for example, my daughter looks up at me in the midst of a discussion (she would call it a lecture) and says: "You're making me feel guilty."比方说,我跟女儿谈心时(她称之为训话),她过一会儿就会抬起头来说:"你让我心里不好受。" For a long time this made me, in turn, feel guilty.她这话反过来弄得我心里好长时间颇为不好受。But now I realize that I am doing precisely what I am supposed to be doing: instilling in her a sense of right and wrong so that she will feel uncomfortable if she behaves in hurtful ways.然而如今我意识到我的做法没有错:那就是给她灌输一种是非观,这样万一她以后伤害了谁就会良心不安。
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