The Last
B: I love you.
G: Hey, um… How many were there before me?
B: What do you mean?
sort out the factsG: Like, how many girls did you love before me?
B: Love?... Five, I loved five women before you.
G: What are their names?
B: Who, what, when, where, why.
G: Can you tell me about them?
B: Who I loved was a girl from college. I wasn’t exactly close to her, but with some superficial facts and a few interactions over semester, you know, like most guys fantasizing over girl the
y barely know, I filled the blanks like a fairy tale author, and who she became in my head was probably more than the reality. She was a third year, sorority girl. Yeah, and I was infatuated freshman, sure, but several times you spend together outside the class, it really allowed me to see she also had a good heart and a bright spirit. The only problem was sort of just about the other guy, and while she turned me down nicely, I swear, there were times when it seemed like the cliché sorority girl may’ve felt something for the typical, awkward freshman.
What I loved was an old friend, but she was much more than just a friend. We met early in college, and kept in touch with the years after. We saw each other grow and change, and through multiple relationships. I saw her different boyfriends come and go. She was also there for every girlfriend and break-up of mine. Personality, humor, taste, it was all there. Her and I were almost perfect. Only thing that wasn’t perfect was our timing. We’ve never single at the same time and what we loved about each other was never enough to leave who we’re with. There’s something we eventually had the faith and accept. And we had to leave behind what we had.
When I loved was my first girlfriend in high school. It’s a bit unfair because she embodies a combination of both love and youth. The feeling of young love is unique, and impossible to replace and replicate because you can only be that age once. High school was a time of innocence, discovery, and adventure. We share these three elements together and things like our first kiss, late night sneaking out, and mad name movies, all of which now have become a nostalgic love preserved the time that neither of us can touch, but I know it was there. Even though we were just kids, there’s not a doubt in my mind that when we were there. We were in love.
Where I loved was a girl I met in Los Angeles, I never intended to stay there that long. It was just a six-month internship after graduating, but it all changed when I met her. Soon, a year had passed, then somehow another year after that I couldn’t leave the city, I couldn’t leave her. Maybe it was my desire to be my own or prove something to everyone back at home, but she helped me accomplish it over there, with the relationship reflect of the city we were in. A new energy, and new experiences that really pushed me to mature more than anyone or anyone else. When people asked what city I loved most, I say LA, the city where
I loved most.
Why I loved was a close friend of mine who passed away. She told me after she had diagnosed that, death was not what sadden her the most but the fact she never really felt like she had fallen in love. She wouldn’t get to have those emotions, good and bad of being hurt and of being held. After she passed, the words stuck with me the most, teaching me to see that one of the greatest gifts we have of being alive is the ability to give, receive, and even lose love. There is so many like her whose life ends before having any of those experiences. What a waste if we don’t strive to love in our lives, she maybe understand why, why wastes his life not loving.
G: I understand now.
B: You are the sixth, you are the last.
G: The sixth? So which am I then?
B: You are none of them….. because you are all of them. You are who I love, the girl on the
pedestal, the fantasy that make me believe that things are actually true. You are what I love, the depth, the insight jokes, the best friend. You are when I love, a new history has been started with you. We’re the young lovers that our old selves would someday reminisce about. You are where I love, because I’d go anywhere just to be with you. You are why I love because before you I didn’t truly understand what I was looking for. Now that we’ve found each other, you’ve given me past and future meaning. You are the sixth. You are the last.
So, how many were there before me?
G: Five as well.
B: What are their names?
G: Who, what, when, where, why.

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